Today was one of the worst...er... craziest days I could've imagined, but I guess it kind of worked out in the end.
It all started when I slept through my alarm clock this morning, which of course, made me late, and I started my day off in a rush. I quickly showered and grabbed something to eat as I ran out to my plumbing van. I knew I would be late for Mrs. K's job, but I hoped she would understand, I mean her son and I go way back.
I tried to start the van only to realize that I had left the dome light on overnight and the battery had died. My brother had already gone for the day, so I had to head off on foot to buy a new battery.
I was already late, so I didn't rush. I wanted to enjoy the beautiful day and try to cool down after having such a rough start to my morning. I was only a few blocks from the store when I heard a woman yelling for help. I knew this would delay me even more, but I could not leave a damsel in distress.
I turned and ran as fast as I could towards the sound. I could still hear the woman calling for help, but she always seemed to be just around the next corner, so I ran faster.
Whatever was happening, we are moving quickly towards the old industrial part of town. I twisted and turned in the maze of industrial complexes until I finally shot around the corner just in time to see some huge beast pulling the most beautiful blond-haired woman I've ever seen into a giant warehouse.
He didn't notice me seeing him, so I counted to 30 and snuck in quietly behind him. The room I entered into was dark, filthy, and full of high scaffolding. The whole place smelled of tar and gasoline, with small oil barrels ablaze, being the only light source.
It took longer than I care to admit for my eyes to adjust to the new dim lighting. By the time my eyes adjusted, the hulking beast had dragged the woman to the top of one of the highest scaffolds.
I ran to the bottom of the scaffold and looked for the best route up. I don't know why, but I just felt like I needed to save this woman. Suddenly there was an almost primal scream of rage as he finally noticed I had been following him. My blood turned cold, but I was committed.
Many of the ladders on the scaffold were broken, this meant I would have to run almost the complete length back-and-forth for each level.
He yelled at me again, which froze me in my tracks, but then she cried for help and the thought of her in this monster's grip for a moment longer spurred me into action.
Without thinking, I jumped up and started running along the first level. When the beast noticed this, he began throwing chunks of wood at me to knock me off, I had to time my jumps just right to avoid being hit.
Between the third and fourth levels, there was a ladder that actually still was intact. I was about halfway up the ladder when he changed his tactics and threw a flaming log at me. This startled me, and I fell backwards off of the ladder and had to start from the ground again.
I was hurt, but undeterred. I knew his tricks, so I ran, jumped, kicked, and climbed my way up as quickly as possible. I was making progress, and he knew it. I could tell by the change in his screams.
Seeing that I was getting closer, he started to roll barrels of oil down the scaffold. The whole structure shuddered underneath the rolling barrels' weight. I tried to jump the first barrel, but my foot hit the top, and I was knocked backwards. I barely regained my footing in time to jump and put my hands on top of the next barrels to push myself over them. This worked well, but it was exhausting.
I finally got to the scaffold beneath his and was standing directly below him. I couldn't see him, and he couldn't see me, but we both knew it all the same. I paused to think of what to do once I got to him, he was much bigger than I was.
Suddenly the air grew hot and heavy with the stink of freshly burning oil. He had started setting the barrels on fire, how could I handle them now? My mind began to spin in a panic until I noticed one of the workers had left a huge sledgehammer behind. I might be able to knock the barrels out of the way, I thought. I then heard a thump and saw the first flaming barrel making his way down towards me.
I put my head down and sprinted as hard as I could towards the hammer, praying to my stars that I would get there before the burning barrel. I dashed forward and grabbed the hammer, swinging it down on the barrel, sending it flying off the scaffold. Emboldened, I ran on knocking each barrel out-of-the-way and finally managed to climb up to his level.
He screamed at me and threw the flaming barrels even faster than before, I dodged and hammered them all out-of-the-way until I saw the perfectly timed shot. I noticed that each time he threw, he lost balance, so instead of dodging, I stood my ground and swung the hammer like a croquet mallet and knocked the barrel right back at him. This caught him off-guard, and he overbalanced and fell off the scaffold and died. At least I think he died, I didn't take the time to check, I grabbed the girl and ran out of there as fast as I could. I didn't go to the police because I didn't think they would believe me.
Anyways, back to the girl, she is stunning. Big blue eyes, blonde hair, pink dress, and a smile to die for. We fell for each other right away, but she had to get back home. I know each relationship has its rough patches, well ours started out as rough as I can imagine, so I'm sure it will be clear sailing from here. I mean, what could be crazier than saving your new girlfriend from some hulking beast that kidnapped her. What a first date!
Sincerely yours, Mario.
P. S. I spoke to Mrs. K, and she was not understanding at all. She actually hung up on me, and I got a call from my buddy Bowser. He said he was appalled that I would leave his morn hanging like that so I could go out and try to play hero, and then said if I wanted to play hero, he could make sure that happened for real and then started laughing me and hung up. I guess Koops and I are no longer friends, no worries, I have Peach now, and nothing can get in our way!